Here against my better judgement

Posted on Thu Sep 22nd, 2022 @ 4:40pm by Lieutenant Commander Bonnie "Bon-Bon" Durnell & Captain Rhenora Kaylen & Lieutenant Commander Aurora Vali & Patin

Mission: *CD*
Location: USS Sunfire
Timeline: TBD

Patin was bored. Normally when she got bored she would chuck boomsticks at the frozen pond in order to see what would happen. Most of the time some cracking would occur and nothing more. But on rare occasion, the ice would break and the fish beneath would be forced to the surface in a rush of a spectacle. Unfortunately, Starfleet apparently frowns on blowing things up inside a spacecraft. And therefore Remal had suggested she go and have a chat with the shrink.

And so she found herself standing outside the door, debating with herself as to whether this would be worth her time. She knew when she came on board, Starfleet people liked to talk things out instead of punch things as was her way. But she was here now and this was her, being brave, and trying something new.

Aurora arrived back from lunch seeing someone she didn’t recognize waiting to see her, remembering what Remal had said about Rhenora’s friend Patin she offered a warm smile. “Am i by chance talking to Patin?”

" By chance" Patin replied, fiddling with the hem of her clothing out of a nervous habit. She looked up at the counsellor "Nozzie speaks highly of you so you must be good. If you helped her maybe there's hope for me" she shrugged her shoulders. Talking had never been her strong point, let alone talking about the ghosts that were stuffed into the deep dark closet of her mind.

Aurora smiled warmly. “I’ll take that as a compliment. Please come on into my office, and make yourself at home. I’m a person who likes creature comforts as you’ll see.”

"This place has perks" Patin looked around as she entered, taking in the comfortable decor and tasteful style. "Are all offices like this or do you have to sleep with a Command officer or something to get it?" She commented without knowing before moving over to a comfortable lounge and dropping into it, allowing one leg to hang over the arm. "So what happens now? I suppose we talk about my childhood or how the Cardies killed everyone I ever cared about."

Auroa smiled as she settled into the comfy armchair. “This is a standard office, just cozier with the added blankets, cushions, and rug. As for talking, how’s about you tell me where you feel comfortable starting?”

Patin rolled her eyes, "Personally I will tell you whatever, I apparently am missing a filter, or whatever meat sack called it. Whatever. Anyway, they seem to think I need to work through some aggression. Could be related to the spoon heads. Could be related to the fact that I can't have children." She eyed Aurora. "Based on that glow about you, I'd say it's that one. You look like some of the women in our cell, they enjoyed the feeling of birthing babies. Couldn't stomach the idea myself." She was now picking at her fingernails or lack thereof.

“I take it you’ve never wanted to have children at all?” Aurora looked at Patin curiously. “I had to have medical help to conceive my baby, mainly due to the fact that I’m a hybrid. You did say you can’t have children, may I ask why?”

"Sure you can ask and I'll tell you what I tell everyone else. The first time I was raped I made a decision that it would never happen again. With the help of a close friend, I burned out my insides. I refused to be the vessel of one of their offspring." She was stern, the look on her face stone cold. And then just as easy her tone shifted. "As for wanting babies, I've always wanted to have one of my own, I just have accepted the impossibility of it."

Aurora nodded. “I’m so sorry that happened to you, I can only imagine how hard it must have been. Did you have anyone to talk to at the time? Given the current state of medical technology, the doctors may be able to help you. If not there are other options.”

Patin smiled her crooked smile. "There wasn't much time for talk in the trenches Luv, not that it would have helped much. There is no amount of talk that would fix undo the choice I had made or the reasons I chose to make it." She thought back to the vision she was given to her regarding Rhenora's death and the next choice she would make. "Besides, all of this technology can't put my psyche back together. I'm much too old. Nah, not for me Luv." She added half-heartedly.

“Then why are you here?” Aurora offered Patin a smile. “It’s never too late, at least where you’re psyche is concerned anyway.

"Cos when I feel like this I normally go blow stuff up. But this being Nozzies boat and all, although if you ever let her drive it'll end up in a thousand prices or spread across the side of a moon somewhere" Patin retorted " I was quite happy until she showed up with the hunk of man she calls a husband and a baby in her belly that I could never have"

“If it makes you unhappy being here, why did you come back here?” Aurora looked at Patin curiously. “You could have easily gone home, but you’ve chosen to stay.”

" Nozzie spoke of changing the future, of making a difference and all that hogwash. She said we could do good and make things better for people. I believed her. But I'm a fish out of water here. I don't know anything about Starfleet or spaceships or the Federation. I know how to survive and blow stuff up" Patin struggled with expressing how she really felt, she had always been a loner, able to express herself however she seemed fit without a care for anyone else.

Aurora offered a warm smile. “I understand, it’s a whole different kettle of fish, as the saying goes! Up until now, you’ve been able to live freely. On a starship, there’s not a lot of freedom, besides on the holodeck. You’re confined to the space the ship has, and that’s it. Would you be willing to teach? Your survival skills are a huge benefit, teaching others how to survive in the wild could be a huge benefit.”

"Me? Teach?" Patin’s jaw dropped as she considered a role she never had before. "Does that mean I need to be all proper like? Nozzie likes things done properly."

Aurora grinned. “Well you’d have to have a certain amount of... etiquette, shall we say? You’d be a civilian teacher but survival skills are something that crew and civilians alike could learn. I can have a word with Rhenora and suggest it?”

" Uhhhh I guess so, it would give me something to do I guess. I don't have any animals to care for or ice to manage anymore." Patin admitted, wondering just what she was getting into. Either way, it would be better than sitting in her room wondering how she could help or make a difference all day.

“Do you enjoy caring for animals?” Aurora looked at Patin curiously. “That’s another option you could look at, there are those who own pets, albeit not that many of them. Still, I’m sure they’d appreciate having someone who’d care for them if they’re off ship.”

"I've had my share of creatures. Some were even legal. Each had its purpose. The arachnid, silk, the Bloodtuber its mucus, great for the skin, highly flammable when applied correctly." She eyed the shocked look on Aurora's face. "I doubt you Starfleet types have anything dangerous about though, so I'll stick with the teaching I think." She suddenly stood up. "Alright Doc, it's been real fun." And she moved for the door.

“Hold on Patin” Aurora smiled warmly. “You can’t just leap straight in you'll need to speak with Rhenora first. It’s something that will require her permission.”

"Nah, Noz will be fine with it, trust me!" Were the words that echoed behind Patin as she headed out the door. Now with a purpose she was keen to get started.

OFF