Dig a Little Deeper pt2

Posted on Mon Jun 21st, 2021 @ 2:50am by Lieutenant Commander Bonnie "Bon-Bon" Durnell & Remal Kajun

Mission: Gamma Quadrant
Location: USS Sunfire
Timeline: Current-ish

Sometimes a person just required a little release, sometimes they needed a bit more. He allowed her to express her release in a healthy manner for a moment before he led her down a road of more potential tears. “Tell me a bit about your mother. Let's start with how close you two were with one another.”

She was now holding a tissue, her tears having subsided. “My mum? I mean we were close. At least when she was around. Serving in Starfleet took her away a lot. But when I was little, she read to me each night and I shadowed her and her work. It’s one of the reasons I love computers so much.”

“She was a wonderful mum, the best a girl could hope for. I just wish she were around more, you know.” She took a drink of her chocolate milk, savoring the comforting flavor. “She served on the Yamaguchi, an Ambassador class ship. Chief Engineer, ya know, top of her class.”

She began getting lost in the details she could remember. Some directly related to her mother, some not so much. “She used to be so confident. I remember how she brought me up to the ship a couple of times, to show off her workspace, her crew, her friends. But for some reason, I was never allowed to stay long.”

“I suppose it had something to do with my Dad, his job kept him home. The Curator of the Smithsonian Museum rarely gets out. I mean, don’t get me wrong, we traveled. But mainly for work, to collect artifacts and then back home we went.” She mimicked soaring home with her hand.

“I remember them saying it was safer on Earth than out in the galaxy with mum. It just never hit home until the day we got the notice.” She paused and took in a deep breath. “I opened the door and there was a man in uniform I didn’t recognize. I was eleven or about to be, I think. All I remember was when I called for my Papa, he spent several minutes talking to the man. And when he finally turned around, his face was different, like he was lost. I’ll never forget that look.”

“I bet it was very similar to the look you had on your face the other night.” He said, setting his chocolate milk glass down upon the table, now empty. “It was the face of a sad little girl, lost and without direction.”

She rose, picked up his glass and crossed to the recycler, then returned a moment later with a refill without really asking if he wanted one. “I believe you. For the longest time I was lost without Mum.” She sat back down and sipped her own drink.

“But never so much as Papa was. While I know he seemed strong on the surface, he was never quite the same. I remember several nights where I lay awake at night listening to what sounded like him crying, but when I would ask him about it he would act strong and tell me it was nothing to worry about.”

“I knew the truth. Even at eleven, I understood. So I chose to go see a counselor, several in fact. And I always made sure to drag him along with me. It took several years before he came to terms with the idea of her being gone.”

She downed the last of her chocolate milk. “And then I went and joined the academy. It’s possible this broke his heart, I mean, I’m pretty confident it did, but in a different way, I suppose. “

“I’m sure it did break his heart. I’m guessing after his recovery from losing your mother, the idea of losing you, in the same way, was like being smacked across the face, again. The only difference may have been that he knew your eventual leaving was inevitable.”

“Right. Which is why when I graduated, instead of striking out into the galaxy and making my mark, I stayed close to home.” He could hear the frustration and disappointment in herself. “A year later Papa had a light stroke and I all but gave up my career to stay home and care for him. If ever there was a time I missed my mum, that was it.”

“Sounds like you did a lot of growing up early. That explains why I get this sense out of you that you are a very capable leader when you need to be. Yet at the same time, you missed out on having that role model to guide you during your difficult years which has led to insecurity around your peers.”

She paused and simply stared at him, having heard similar words before from other shrinks. Why was he different, she wondered. “I’ve never thought of myself as insecure. I know I’m not the same as them, but I get by. I just prefer a different drumbeat, as my Papa might say.”

He smiled, “And that’s fair. At least until your drum beat puts you in a state that warrants the concern of others.” His sincerity was full of directness. “Anyway, I didn’t come to criticize. I just wanted to get to know you a little better.”

He raised his glass. “Maybe the next time you care to have a drink, you’ll give ole’ Remal a call so you won’t have to go alone. Traveling dark roads at night should rarely be done without a friend by your side. Just in case.” He sat forward in preparation to stand up.

Admitting to herself that she felt better and now more confident that she had made a good friend in the man in front of her, she stood to meet him as he stood. Then without warning, she wrapped her arms around him, wiping her tears unintentionally on his tunic.

Smiling, he hugged her back. After a moment they parted. He thanked her for the chocolate milk and bid her adieu before leaving.

She recycled their glasses, then took a refreshing look at her new house plant, glad to have dug a little deeper and get her story out there. Feeling the relief from her chest, she walked to her bed and belly-flopped face-first into her pillow. Hugging her pillow, she couldn’t help but to feel elation.

And then her alarm started going off.

END