Final Recert Eval - Aurora

Posted on Tue Aug 17th, 2021 @ 1:29am by Remal Kajun & Lieutenant Commander Aurora Vali

Mission: Gamma Quadrant
Location: Counselling office
Timeline: Morning after the evaluations

Having spent a passionate, loving night with Savar, Aurora was feeling much better. She knew she had the Counselling evaluation to go yet so she made her way to see Remal and get it out of the way.

He sat at his desk, reviewing records and looking for details he may have missed in order to give reports to Command as he saw fit. After several days of evaluations, he felt as tired as those being evaluated.

Walking through the waiting room doors Aurora approached the office Remal was using and smiled as she peered around his office door. “Good Morning.”

He looked up, a smile on his face, "And good morning to you. Come in, have a seat. Can I get you anything?" He asked, already putting on his counselor persona.

“An iced water would be lovely thank you” Aurora smiled as she moved to the nearest seat and sat down.

He got up, moved over to the replicator and tapped the console, "Two waters, ice cold." The computer chirped, then the waters materialized on the pad. He picked them up, turned and offered one to Aurora, before taking a chair slightly opposite hers.

He took a sip before asking, "So, how are you feeling today?" He felt he would start light before delving in and rehashing the memories of yesterday.

“Better, thank you” Aurora sipped her water before smiling. “When I lost holo Savar it was all too realistic! It quite literally felt like my heart had broken in two. Having spent time with Savar at home I feel much happier now.”

"I'm glad to hear you're feeling better and I do apologize that you were put through such pain. That said, you must be aware that by waiting to describe the raw emotion felt after the training session, our data may be slightly skewed." The idea that Command thought more about the data than they did the people behind the data often unnerved him.

“I haven’t been practicing my answers if that’s what Starfleet is worried about” Aurora offered a smile. “There is a way... you could regress me back to the end of the training session using hypnosis. That way your data wouldn’t be skewed.”

"I'm not concerned with what Starfleet worries about, not enough anyway to take you back to a fragile emotional state just to answer a few benign questions. Besides, I was able to review the footage enough to decern enough to present a report. Mostly, I just need from you a few follow-up responses. You up for that?"

Aurora nodded. “I’m up for that, please ask your questions.”

"While I can guess as to your emotional state, I need you to voice, for the record, how were you feeling during the recertification, particularly when you realized you would have to send others to their potential death?"

“How I felt?” Aurora paused. “How is anyone supposed to feel? It was bad enough sending out crew, but my husband as well... it tore my heart out knowing they might never come back!”

"That's just it though, isn't it. The scenario is designed to make someone in Command FEEL something. Whether it be loss, pain, suffering, the desire for revenge. And then Command interprets that emotional state and the following reactions of the officer to determine viability and accountability in the face of a Command situation. So, now knowing you were hurt, possibly beyond measure, tell me what your first thoughts were when you received word you had lost your away team members, and consequently, your husband?" He felt for her, and her now daunting task of recalling the hurt.

“My first thoughts?” Aurora paused. “At first I seriously considered blowing that ship out to hell, but I knew it wasn’t what Savar would have wanted me to do. That, and it’s not what a Starfleet Officer would do.”

"So, anger, the need for revenge, all normal characteristics in this situation. I was proud to see you be able to mostly control your impulses, especially near the end when you showed your enemy mercy." He paused and took a sip before continuing "What went through your mind when you made that choice?"

“What went through my mind?” She paused. “It was what Savar would have wanted me to do, that and what the Starfleet bigwigs would have expected from one of their officers.”

"Sounds as though you base your decision around what other want. What about Aurora, what did Aurora want to do?" He could see it in her eyes, she was a motherly figure always living for others. He needed to delve deeper to understand the driving force behind what made Aurora tick.

“You don’t know what I wanted to do.” Aurora sighed. “In that moment of anger I wanted revenge, that’s not me! Not the true me anyway.”

he held up his hand in a sign of reassurance. "You're right, I don't know your mind. Only you do. But I have to ask, If those feelings didn't derive from you or who you are, and the feelings that lead you away from the vengefulness were those of Savar and Starfleet, where did they come from? And a follow-up, if you will, why do you feel it wrong to take revenge for acts of cruelty done to others, especially those you care about?"

Aurora frowned. “You’re right, those feelings were mine. The ones I keep reigned in, the ones we all keep reigned in. That darker side of ourselves that we don’t want anyone to see, and that are kept under control.” She sighed. “As for why? To allow myself to take revenge would have fundamentally changed who I am, it’s something I could never have come back from.”

"To be clear, vengeful feelings are perfectly natural, even in non-human individuals such as your husband. Having these feelings and being able to maintain control is what this test is looking to determine, so you did well." He shifted as he took another sip. "I just want you not to short-change your own reasonings by placing those of others above your own. Sure Savar and Starfleet wouldn't want you to feel hate, but deep down, you know how you would feel if you gave in." He smiled as a sign of reassurance. "Now, last question, anything you can think of you may have done differently during the scenario to have made the situation better?"

Aurora paused. “I...” She frowned. “I could have blown them all to kingdom come” she offered a wry grin. “That would have made me feel a whole lot better. Seriously though... I’m not sure. I guess I could have consulted other officers more, sought more advice from those around me.”

"In the moment, it is often difficult to rely on those around you for options. I do recall you trying though, and that shows effort in that area. I do like that you attempt to use humor to alleviate a stressful situation, though I appreciate it more to see you use it after the fact and not during the scenario. Not when everyone on that bridge is looking to you to be their confident leader." His comments were purely a confident reiteration of what he already had said, overall she had done a good job.

Aurora offered a more relaxed smile. “To be honest I’m glad it’s all over! No doubt everyone else is as well.”

He finished the last bit of his water and smiled. "So, how is little Sidak doing? He was barely inside you for a week, with that kind of growth rate he must be 18 and ready to move out by now?" he joked.

Aurora grinned. “Actually his growth rate has slowed to that of a more normal baby thankfully.” Her smile faded a little. “I just wish I knew how long it will be until his real parents return for him.”

"I'm sure things will work out in the end as most things tend to do. We can only hope that this is a one-time ordeal." He offered her some reassurance. "Anyway, I believe I have enough to submit my report so, unless you have anything further to offer, I'll let you get back to your family." He smiled an understanding smile.

Aurora smiled. “That would be great, thank you Remal.”

He stood, took her glass, and showed her to the door. "Don't hesitate to let me know if you need anything else, okay?"

Aurora nodded. “I will, thank you again.” With that she headed on her way.

{OFF}