T'Lar Shore Leave part 1: Memory Lane
Posted on Fri Apr 3rd, 2026 @ 1:15pm by Lieutenant JG T'Lar
Edited on on Fri Apr 3rd, 2026 @ 1:33pm
2,185 words; about a 11 minute read
Mission:
Character Development
Location: Northern California
Timeline: SHORE LEAVE
T’Lar stepped off of the transporter pad clad in a black vegan leather riding suit, motorcycle boots, gloves, rider’s backpack and helmet. She strode across the tarmac to the Starfleet Motorpool officer who was waiting for her with her ride.
“Lieutenant T’Lar?” the Bollian ensign asked
“Yes, I am T’Lar,” she repliled.
“Are you sure you want one of these wheeled bikes? I mean its a newer model but I could get you into a hover bike no problem if you want. Cut your travel time in half, and its a helluva lot smoother ride…”
“My license is not rated for hoverbike, Ensign. Besides, as they say, the journey is the destination.”
“All right, well this is your classic Moto Guzzi 2380 MGEX 81, with standard control configuration with automatic transmission, and standard seating set up for cruising. Got your hard bags here on the sides, um, we barely sign these out so the brakes are very fresh so try to not mash on them too hard til you get a feel for them. It’s got your holographic GPS slaved to your helmet’s head’s up display, and it will do 0-60 in about 4 seconds so hang on to your … um, I mean ease on the throttle til you get used to it. Like I said it has the auto tranny on it so you don’t have to worry about shifting per se, but you can adjust for road conditions such as mountain riding, which I would recommend using here on the hills in the City. I just need your thumbprint on this PADD to secure the rental. Thank you. And its all yours.”
The lights had gone down in the City and the sun was shining on the bay as she made her way out of the Presidio towards the Golden Gate Bridge in the direction of the old 101 freeway in the direction of Sausilto. The ensign was right. Despite being a cruiser the bike was nimble and fast as she made her way around the bay in the self driving traffic lanes. The automatic driving lanes were moving at capacity but the self driving lanes had barely any traffic at all since most people preferred to allow their conveyance to drive automatically these days if they used ground transportation at all.
T’Lar luxuriated in the thrill of the wind whipping at her as she rode up the 35 towards the 80. She had first gotten her motorcycle license when she joined Starfleet Academy and used to enjoy taking runs up Highway 1 to Santa Cruz where she would lose herself back in the hills amongst the redwoods on the weekends. That was before she met Brian. Her thoughts went to him now; to the black obsidian bust safely tucked away in the backpack she wore on her back, not trusting it to the saddlebags.
I’m taking you home, Brian. she thought.
I am setting you free today. I love you but I cannot keep you with me forever, not like this. I promise to remember the good times always. I promise to never forget what we had.
You deserve to be happy as well, baby. I don’t want you to spend your whole life looking backward. We had our time and it was wonderful. But I don’t like seeing you in so much pain.
“Brian?!” she said out loud.
The voice said nothing more. She knew she hadn’t imagined it. She rode on in silence as the miles ticked by. Coming up through Sacramento she got her first glimpse of the Sierras in the distance with snow still capping the mountains. Her plans were to stay at the Starfleet Retreat and Conference Center at Lake Tahoe that night. Thus far the weather reports stated spring like conditions on the mountains, so she was anticipating no snowfall or rain. She passed Auburn and began threading her way up into the Gold Country. In the shadows on the side of the road were snow drifts but by and large the snow was mostly gone at the lower elevations. The air was still cooler though and T’Lar was glad she’d chosen black as her color of choice for this day’s riding suit as it helped soak up the heat of the sun.
The mountains were beautiful. She’d not been back up this way in a long while. She remembered the first time she’d made the trip with Brian during the Winter Break. Upon arrival at Brian's parents snow covered Alpine lodge, T'Lar was warmly greeted by his mother and father. Smiling she mimicked a warm response back, which surprised and delighted Brian's father who, having served with Vulcans during his days in Starfleet, had never in his life seen a Vulcan smile. Brian's 8 year old sister had never seen a Vulcan up close, and was trepidatious in meeting T'Lar. Kneeling down to eye level, T'Lar allowed Brian's sister to gently trace a finger over her fae like ears, delighting the girl, who then impetuously asked her brother if his girlfriend was an angel. Brian told her to ask T'Lar, who asked the girl what she thought. The little girl looked at T'Lar from one side to the other and declared that in her opinion that T'Lar was probably was the queen of Santa's Elves... T'Lar winked and put a finger to her lips as if to indicate that it was their little secret, which delighted the girl and sent her away giggling.
Later that night while lounging around the fire, T'Lar watched as Brian's sister slept on the rug in front of the hearth. When Brian mentioned how cute his sister looked, T'Lar inadvertently dropped a bombshell when she remarked that seeing her sleeping like that reminded her of her own daughter at that age. Brian's mother started to ask how old T'Lar's daughter was, but seeing the look on Brian's face, realized that this information was new to him as well. Under the pretense of putting the young girl to bed, Brian's parents made their exit, leaving an uncomfortable silence between Brian and T'Lar. T'Lar could tell that Brian was hurt, but could not understand why. He couldn't understand why she hadn't mentioned the fact that she had a daughter before, not to mention who the daughter's father was, and what her relationship was with him. She told him everything, expressing her sincere apologies for not having the forethought to address the issue earlier. She thanked him for inviting her to spend the holiday with his family, and she indicated that she understood the cultural significance. In a tender moment he confessed his love for her, and she confessed that she was envious of his ability to feel such things. She reaffirmed her commitment to their relationship, but expressed regret that she would never be able to love him in return. Kernan had smiled and pointed out that she already was demonstrating love for him. At first she thought he meant the mimicked gestures or perhaps the more intimate forms of physical contact which she could enjoy from a physiological standpoint, but without the accompanying emotional context. Brian pointed out that love was as much a verb as it was a noun. To love someone, he explained, was an act of will, a commitment to the other person that remained long after the early stages of infatuation and attraction based upon physical appearance long faded away. Without friendship and "affinity" as she called it, relationships never lasted more than a few years at best. T'Lar realized that she had been "loving" him through her deliberate acts and decided that she would continue to make a conscious choice to continue doing so through her commitment and companionship. Looking into his eyes, she told him that if love was a choice, an act of will, then she wanted him to know that she loved him as well.
Just the pronouncement of those words had stirred something deep inside her, but she tucked it away. Over the next few days she took part in the family's traditions of cutting down a Christmas tree, which T'Lar thought was an unnecessary loss to the tree, but did not voice her opinion. She learned about the Christmas story, and the story of St. Nicholas. On Christmas day she was surprised when Brian gave her a small box containing a Claddagh ring. He explained to her that it was a symbol of his commitment to her as his "sweetheart" and that it was an Irish tradition going back centuries.
All of these things ran through her mind as she wound her way into the mountains deeper and deeper, achieving that zen like state where she just flowed with the road and the miles slipped on by. Before she knew it she found herself parking the bike in front of the Kernan’s chalet. Brian’s sister Shannon spotted her from the window and ran to the door as T’Lar took off her helmet.
“Tally!”she exclaimed, using the nickname she’d bestowed upon T’Lar at their first meeting because she’d had difficulty prounouncing her name.
“Hello, Shannon…”
The girl swept her up in a big hug as Douglas Kernan came to the door.
“T’Lar, as I live and breathe! It’s so good to see you!”
“Hello Douglas.”
T’Lar smiled delighting the man.
“Come inside. Come inside.”
Sarah Kernan came to the door.
“What’s all the … Oh, T’Lar Honey! What brings you to see us?”
T’Lar stepped through the door with her backpack in hand.
“Hello Sarah. Shore leave, and I have a favor to ask.”
“Well certainly, if it’s within our power, ask away!”
T’Lar hesitated
“I will come to that in a bit, for now I should like to hear how you have been.”
The four of them settled into the living room catching up on the previous several years . It had not been easy on any of them. T’Lar shared with them her latest assignment news, including her turn at the Number One chair in the battle of Vadia IX.
“And that brings me to the favor I wanted to ask of you…” she said
She took out Brian’s Vre-katra from her back pack.
“In Vulcan culture we often memorialize our loved ones through such shrines as this. I created this one for Brian.”
She handed it to Sarah
“Oh T’Lar its beautiful. Look at it Doug.”
“Oh yes,” Douglas sniffed as his eyes welled up with tears, “My boy…”
“Starships are inherently risky places to store one of a kind items, and this one is irreplaceable to me. I wonder if you would do me the honor of safeguarding it for me?
“What? Why, we would be honored.” Sarah answered “Will you stay for dinner?”
“For dinner? We can put you up in Brian’s old room if you need a place to stay for the night.” Doug offered.
“Oh, thank you, but I’m due to check in to the Starfleet Retreat and Conference Center in Lake Tahoe at eighteen hundred hours. Before then I want to stop off and see Brian.”
“Of course, Dear. We understand.” said Sarah
“We are so glad you came to see us, Tally. Did you really make this statue of Brian?” asked Shannon
“I did. Do you like it?”
“I love it!”
“I am most gratified to hear that. Unfortunately, given the time I need to be going. It was most agreeable to visit with you.
All three Kernans gave T’lar a hug goodbye and waved her off as she mounted her bike and put on her helmet.
Alright my love. I set you free. Be here amongst your family and their love for you
She started up the bike and headed for the cemetery. Once there she procured a bouquet of flowers and made her way to the Court of Honor. Brian’s memorial was the only one that covered the Dominion War and was much more elaborate than most of the faceless nameplates of previous conflicts. Brian’s memorial included a full color image of him in his cadet uniform, along with the date and place of his death. He looked so much younger than she remembered him. She placed the flowers silently and sat on a bench reflecting on what he was asking of her today. It occurred to her that not only was he asking to be set free, but he was in fact setting her free to move forward with her life. She knew that the PTSD and its effects would not magically disappear overnight, but she did feel a weight lifted from her shoulders. No longer would she feel guilt for trapping his katra, however unintentional it had been. He was home now and could be at peace. It was a new dawn, a new day, a new life for her…
And she was feeling good.
TBC
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