Snowy Speedos Winter Klingons

Posted on Sat Sep 12th, 2020 @ 10:59pm by Lieutenant Avery Paxton III

Mission: Once Upon A Time on Risa.
Location: Risa

Avery had as much “relaxing” as she could take. She left Scott at the pool and headed for the beach to catch some waves. Having been from Florida, she loved the water and always took any excuse to be near it.

As she neared the beach area, Avery noticed someone hovering over one of the weather control units. I wonder what they’re up to? She thought as she dropped her board on the sand. Too curious to ignore it, she walked over.

“So, what are you up to?” Avery asked.

Einir initially ignored Avery, not recognising her voice. When Avery repeated the question however, Einir turned around. “I’m taking a closer look at this weather control unit. They’re dotted all over the planet to help regulate the worldwide environmental system.” The Orian woman paused for a moment and looked closer at Avery. “I’m sorry, do we know each other? I’m Ensign Einir Gwanwyn, Astrometrics Officer onboard the USS Sunfire.”

“Oh, no, sorry.” Avery said, embarrassed that she had completely forgotten a standard introduction. “I’m Lt.Avery Paxton III, Engineering Officer on the USS Sunfire. I just transferred to the ship a few days ago. It’s nice to meet a fellow shipmate.” She smiled. “So why are you so interested in the weather control unit?”

Einir smiled broadly, and started to look around enthusiastically; “Are you kidding? Look around you! As an engineer you must be fascinated at how the entire planet is able to bask in this beautiful temperate climate.” She raised her arms about her head, roughly towards the searing hot sun, “Without this weather control system in place, Risa would be rainy, foggy, damp bog!”

“Although I think it’s cool, weather systems aren’t really my thing. I’m more into ship’s engines. However, you have piqued my interest.” Avery stated, thinking about all of the pranks she could pull by tweaking the system. I wonder if I can just create a tiny rain cloud that follows Scott around for an hour or so. “Have you figured out how it works? What are you planning to do with it?” She asked with a glint of mischief in her eye.

“Its not something I’d mess with lightly.” Einir admitted, “I’m no engineer, but I was hoping to adjust a particular set of co-ordinates to create a snow cloud above the main pool area where most of the Sunfire crew are bathing quite happily.” She nodded towards Avery, “I’m glad you arrived actually, I need the assistance of an engineer. If I tell you what needs doing, do you think you could help me out?” She looked Avery up and down and crossed her arms, “Or are you a brown nose that doesn’t like getting your hands dirty now and again?”

“Oh, I am one hundred percent here for this.” Avery said with a smirk as she leaned in closer, finding it almost impossible to contain her excitement. “Show me what I need to know.”

“We need to get this panel off first.” Einir pointed at the small hatch on the underside of the weather control unit. Avery nodded, figuring out pretty quickly that it was a simple push and pull latch that would open relatively simply.

“Alright, now we bypass the preprogrammed system by interfacing this microdrive pre-installed with the coordinates for the hotel.” Einir reached into her back pocket and produced a small device that looked around the same size as a memory stick. “Do you think you can get this microdrive talking to the weather control unit?”

“I’m no computer specialist, but I think I can handle it.” Avery replied, grabbing the microdrive from Einir. She quickly removed what she reckoned was a small access panel on the console, connected the microdrive and then pulled up an interface on the screen.

“Ok let’s see….We’ll need to bypass the hardware abstraction layer so that it can talk directly to the control unit and avoid any intrusion detection messages…” She said absentmindedly, biting her lower lip as she typed away. A moment later and she was in.

“Got it! Now all we have to decide on is how much snowfall we want.” Avery said, grinning ear to ear. “I’m thinking 10cm worth over the next thirty minutes?” A thought suddenly occurred to her. “You know, there are holographic emitters by the pool also. We can access that system too and have holographic klingons in speedos chase everyone around while the snow is falling.” She laughed at her own idea.

Einir started laughing at the absurdity of Avery’s idea, “I totally love it!” She laughed, “Let’s make those Klingons extra aggressive by making their speedos extra tight!” The Orion woman continued to giggle as Avery worked on the weather control unit. “Set it all to begin in around 20 minutes, it should give us enough time to make it back poolside!”

“Extra tight speedos….20 minute delay…..done!” Avery exclaimed as she finished typing in the last of the pranking sequence. After replacing the panel that had been removed on the console, she turned, looked at Einir and laughed, “I have the feeling that this is going to become a very fun friendship. Let’s go!”

They casually made their way to the pool so as to not draw any suspicion. “Let’s grab seats at the back of the bar?” Avery suggested. “It’s covered so we won’t get snowed on and it’s set back enough that I doubt anyone will notice us laughing our asses off when chaos ensues. Plus, we can get drinks.”

Einir nodded and waved for the waiter’s attention. Ordering herself and Avery a drink, the two women leaned back and relaxed. It was now only mere seconds away until the snowy flurry would commence!

In the corner of her eye Einir saw a single snowflake drop. Then another. And then another. The sky darkened quickly above the pool and the heavens opened properly. Just as the sunbathers started to notice the snow falling into them, six semi-naked Klingon warriors in tight speedos suddenly appeared by the side of the pool. They looked at each other, saw what they were wearing, and screamed towards the sky in blind rage!

The resort guests started scrambling, half trying to get inside to warmer weather and the other half just trying to avoid the enraged mostly naked klingons. Avery saw Scott across the pool, he suddenly didn’t look so relaxed anymore as one of the klingons barrelled towards him. She tried to contain the laughter, but couldn’t and finally burst. Through the tears of laughter streaming down her face, she saw a couple of security guards enter the pool area. “We’d better get out of here before they figure out we’re the ones behind this,” she said to Einir, motioning towards the guards.

“I think you’re right!” Einir laughed, wiping away the last of the tears of laughter which had been streaming down her cheeks moments earlier. “Come on, let’s see if we can find one of the crew and meet up with them. I think I just saw the XO and the Science Officer back there somewhere.”